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何故年賀状はなかなか届かないのか?

年が明けたのでポストを開けてみると想定外の友達からの年賀状が届いていた。

誰もが毎年経験するんじゃないでしょうか。まあそんなものはジャパニーズカルチャーの微笑ましいサプライズみたいなもんで、それから返事を書いても友情関係が壊れることはない。と願いたいものです。

1/1に受け取った年賀状にすぐに返事を書けば1/4〜1/5くらいには相手にとどきます。まあ許容範囲でしょう。

ところが僕の様なぐーたら人間はそもそも最初っから年を越してから年賀状を投函します。そうすると相手に届くのはやはり1/4〜1/5あたり。

場合によっては

「ああ、こいつはオレに年賀状を送るつもりがなかったのに、
 オレが送ったからあわてて返事を書いたんだな。ああそーかいそーかい。」

と、あらぬ誤解をうけがちです。違うんです。
最初から送るつもりだったんです。僕は毎年そんなもんなんです。

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と言うのが毎年の僕の言い訳なんですが、実は何を隠そう毎年年賀状を送ってくれた相手にしかそもそも書いてないのです。そんな横着な人間なんですアイムソーリー。

しかし三賀日に届いた年賀状に返事を書いた場合は上記の様な言い訳が通用しますが、問題なのは送ってくれた相手もぐーたらな人で、1/6ころに思いもかけず年賀状が届いた場合です。
あわてて返事を送ってみるもののどういうワケか僕の年賀状があいてに届くのは軽く1週間後くらいだったりします。1/13〜1/14くらいです。

どうみても

「ああ、こいつ返事を書くのすら面倒でしばらく放っておいたな。」

と思われてしまいます。
違うんです!僕はあなたの年賀状を受け取ったその日にあわてて返事を書いてるんです!アイムイノセント。
------------------

さて、何で1/5頃以降に送った年賀状はなかなか相手に届かないんでしょうか。
いくらなんでもちょいと時間かかりすぎじゃないっすか???
その原因をズバリ!解明しました。たぶん。

郵便局は年末になると大量の人員を投入します。
そう。年賀状専用のバイトくんたちです。年賀状の季節になると元々の郵便局員のキャパでは到底太刀打ちできないので短期のバイトを雇うのです。短期で小遣いを稼ぐのです。
もちろんその多くが学生。
本気で生活にバイトが必要な人は深夜に週3くらいでオールシーズンやってて年賀状チームとは別くくりです。(書留とか特殊とか通常業務をやってます。たぶん。)

ところが学生はだいたい三賀日が終わるとバイトも終わってしまうのです。学校はじまっちゃうしね。そう。1/4くらいからの郵便局は通常のキャパに戻ってしまうのです。

と言うところまではまあ簡単な話ですが、じゃあキャパが通常に戻ったからって郵便物が1週間近くも届かないってちょいと問題じゃねーの?仕事で郵便物送ってる人とかどーすんのよ!

と誰もが思うことでしょう。

ここで一役買うのが「郵便ポスト」です。

この時期の郵便ポストにはよく見ると「一般の郵便」と、「年賀郵便」と言う2種類の投函口が用意されています。みなさんこれは「年賀状を効率良く配達するため」だと思ってませんか?

違います。これは「年賀状を後回しにするため」の仕分けなのです。たぶん。

年末投函された年賀状はがんばって届けるけど、年を越してから送るようなヤツの年賀状は後回しだ後回し!と言う仕掛けです。たぶん。
人雇うにも金が要るんだよ、三賀日過ぎたらさっさとバイトは解雇だよ!です。たぶん。
人が減ったら年賀状なんて仕分けてられっかよ!です。たぶん。

まあ一般郵便物の配達が遅れるのはマジで困るので致し方ありませんな。
なんせ郵便局の車は駐禁とられないくらいですからちゃんと配ってもらわないと。

しかしそこでずるがしこいアナタはこう思ったに違いありません。

「じゃあ年賀状を一般郵便の口に入れれば早く届くんじゃないの?」

いやー、あなた卑怯ですねぇ〜。
そんな事してもすぐに年賀状だってばれちゃいますよ。
切手は赤いし、「年賀」って書いてあるし、だいたいハガキにお年玉クジついてるし。



でも「一般の郵便」に入れてもバレないで早く届くのが、デザイナーの作ったDMみたいな私製年賀状です。なので私製の年賀状には目立つように「年賀」って書くように指示がありますね。
じゃあ、「年賀」って書かなければ早くとどくんじゃないの?

あ、僕はそんなことしませんよ。念のため。遅い年賀状もオツで良いじゃないすか。

※一部フィクションです
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▲僕の弟くんの2nd.アルバム。お気に入り。

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